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{Flock Updates} The Aftermath

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Having both my best hens gone hasn’t been an easy thing to deal with for me. I never thought I’d find myself completely devastated over the death of a chicken, let alone two chickens. And I am, devastated. They were my best girls, they kept things easy by running the flock. They were part of the thing that helped me get up & keep moving forward right after the car accident. They’re gone now & I definitely feel it’s my fault because of my TBI (traumatic brain injury) & my symptoms from it getting worse due to my day job. I feel like they shouldn’t have died for the reasons they did if I hadn’t been in a deep, 3 month long cognitive fatigue fog & had had the money to take them to the vet.

Now, there’s a void not only in just that they aren’t there for me anymore, but in the pecking order as well. Right now, no one seems eager to shuffle pecking order positions. The flock has been completely silent the past two mornings (which is something that’s never been a thing, even when it was only the Ithakē flock). Odysseus seems a bit lost & sticks even closer to the peafowl since his girls aren’t here anymore.

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I have been thinking about selling the rest of the birds when I’m in that depression & I feel like the biggest bag of flaming crap, in regards to my ability to care for them. Usually when I get to that point, Toki & Arya smother me (if I’m inside) or the Furious Five make me the Crazy Bird Lady by trying to nest against my neck all at the same time (if I’m outside).

I just wish I could have saved them.

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